These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just to real
by MC-GAR-IL
Summary: 'I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along' *Tragedy Warning*


***Tragedy Warning***

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_The skies were taken over by dark grey clouds looming over the small town of Lima, Ohio. Kids were scrambling to get to their cars before getting caught in the oncoming downpour._

"_Hey Rach you coming?" The tall quarterback asked_

"_No you go ahead Finn I'm going to head to the choir room for some extra practice before going home" Taking his girlfriends word he gave her a chaste kiss n the lips before walking out into the parking lot. Rachel could feel the bitter taste left on her lips after Finn had left. It just wasn't the same, his were not the lips she wanted to feel, who's presence she wanted around her. She had fallen out of love with Finn but didn't know how to move on, Finn was familiar, Finn was __**safe. **__She was sure if she let him go she would be lost and irreparable._

_When Rachel finally made it to the choir room she slowly made her way to the piano. Her fingers lightly slid over the keys before she sat down. She looked out the window observing the weather outside, she watched as the rain come down slowly hitting the window in an irregular beat._

_She pressed down on a black bass note letting it's sound ring out in the empty room. After it faded away she hit another, one after another making a melancholy sound to fit the rain outside and the storm raging inside of her._

_A month, it's been a month since the wedding, well attempted wedding._

_A month since they canceled it._

_A month since the accident_

_A month since-_

_Rachel's hand stilled the last notes fading out into nonexistence. Tears stung the corners of her eyes but she pushed them back. She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat and began to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In._

_She held it until her lungs burned and screamed at her begging for release._

_Out._

_She stared blankly ahead trying to keep her emotions in check. Her eyes slipped shut and her head bowed._

"_Don't look so down Berry" the familiar melodious voice filled the singers ears. Her head shot up and looked towards the doorway only to see none other than Quinn Fabray standing there, emerald green eyes staring at her, a soft smile placed on the blonde's face. Rachel felt her heart seize up. "Quinn" the name slipped from her lips, disbelief and questioning behind it._

_Quinn walked toward the piano, her smile never faltering. "Close you mouth Rach you'll catch flies" Rachel's jaw snapped shut, caramel eyes still boring into bright hazel. "What are you doing here?" the brunette asked. "Looking for you of course"_

_Rachel's moth opened and closed searching for words, but Quinn beat her to it, "Sing me something"_

"_What?"_

"_C'mon Rach I know you're not deaf. Sing me something."_

"_What do you want me to sing?"_

"_Whatever you're feeling right now, I sure you can find a song in your giant repertoire to sing." _

"_But-"_

"_Just do it, please, for me" Rachel silently nodded and began to think, sifting through jumble of emotions focusing on one of them and then began to move her fingers across the the keys._

_Her fingers began on the left side of the piano, the notes slow and haunting._

'_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_  
_I wish that you would just leave_  
_Your presence still lingers here_  
_And it won't leave me alone'_

_She glanced to the side hey eyes locked with Quinn's who gave her a nod of encouragement. Her fingers picked up their pace, her left note hitting chords her right arpeggiating, her voice growing stronger._

'_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase'_

_Her voice was raw with emotion as she powered through to the chorus_

'_When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have_  
_All of me'_

_Her eyes shone with tears that she refused to let go. She let her thoughts drift to the girl next to her, and everything she felt this past month past month as her voice grew soft and remorseful again._

'_You used to captivate me_  
_By your resonating light_  
_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_  
_Your face – it haunts_  
_My once pleasant dreams_  
_Your voice – it chased away_  
_All the sanity in me'_

_It was her fault, all her fault. She caused this, her and her stupid wedding, and her constant texting, needing Quinn to be there, rushing her._

'_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase'_

_The words rang true in her mind, nothing would ever be the same again, she'd always carry this pain, this **longing** in her heart._

'_When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have_  
_All of me'_

_Her tears were now falling down her face, her voice was slightly cracking, but she would hold it together and finish the song._

'_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_  
_But though you're still with me_  
_I've been alone all along'_

_Why?_

_She's been asking herself her question over and over this past month._

'_When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have_  
_All of me_'

_Her voice trailed off lightly her tears coming in even stronger. Strong pale arms enveloped her and the dam finally burst open. Sobs wracked the small singers body as she cried into Quinn's chest letting all her pain and guilt spill out onto her dress. She tried to speak through the tears but her words were muffled and broken. "Quinn…" "Sorry…" "All my fault…" were discernible through her sobbing._

"_Shhh, shhh Rach it's okay, it's not your fault, it's not. I don't blame you, it'll be alright." Rachel pulled herself together enough to look Quinn in the eye, there was no anger or resentment in them, only care and understanding. Rachel felt her heart twist unable to understand how Quinn was okay with this, how she didn't blame her, but she pushed her questions aside and said what she's been dying since she first saw Quinn in the hospital, beat up and broken._

"_I love you Quinn„ I love you so much I don't know what to do. When we got the call about your accident I was a mess I couldn't stop crying. And when we were finally able to see you something in me snapped. It hasn't been the same without you."_

"_It's okay, Rachel. You don't have to keep punishing yourself for this."_

"_But it's my fault. My fault for texting you over and over. It's my fault that you got hit by that truck. It's my fault that you're.. you're… that you're dead." her voice that started off strong and indignant was now soft and broken again. Her grip tightened on Quinn's white dress, her eyes searching warm golden ones for an answer._

_Quinn just laughed lightly and shook her head, her eyes filled with tears also. "Rachel, I don't and won't ever blame you for what happened, you have to forgive yourself, it wasn't your fault Rachel saw Quinn start to fade and she began to panic._

"_No Quinn, please don't leave me I don't know how to live without you. I'm a mess, I don;t know what I'm doing. I need you, everything is easier when your here"_

"_Rachel forgive yourself, and don't forget your dreams, your drive, I'll always be with you in here-" she pointed to Rachel's heart, "And always remember one thing."_

"_What?" She asked. Quinn bent her head down and captured Rachel's in a kiss filled with love and finality. "I love you" Quinn whispered against her lips. Rachel's hands fell through her translucent figure. Quinn gave her one last smile and Rachel watched as Quinn faded away. She was gone, she was gone and Rachel was all alone. She lost the person who loved her the most, she was so blind, she should have realized sooner. If she did then maybe…_

_Maybe things could have been different, Quinn would still be here, with her._

'_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_  
_**But though you're still with me**_  
_**I've been alone all along'**_

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**MC:** I swear I keep putting off updating 'Finally Here' cause I'm having this block, mostly because I have no idea where I want the story to go, but I swear an update will come, just give me so more time. But for now enjoy the random one-shots I keep posting to try to get my creative juices flowing again

Plus I keep forgetting to put these dang tragedy warnings in the beginning of these stories, I will find a way to remember, thank to gllover22 again for reminding me.


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